9 Things You Shouldn’t Say To Knitters & Crafters

Us creative types have access to hooks, needles, pins, scissors and all sorts of sharp objects – think before you speak!

Don’t you have anything better to do?

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Hmmm, define ‘better’. Unless you’re Wonder Woman or Superman, you’re probably not going to be saving the world this weekend, so what do you class as ‘better’? Playing computer games or falling asleep on the sofa? How about engaging your brain and hands in a spot of crafting? Whether it’s sewing, pottery, knitting, crochet, colouring or papercraft, they are all pretty great ways of spending your time. Trust us.

I would do it, but I’m just too busy

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Implying that we’re not. Implying that your social calendar is so extensive you need a private secretary to stay on top of it and we’re sad, lonely crafters with no friends and family who are to be dismissed and pitied. Thanks for the ego boost.

You can buy that

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Yes, you can. You can also buy pre-packed sandwiches for your lunch and water in plastic bottles. Do you really think we are making cards, knitting socks and sewing skirts because we don’t know where else to get them?...

I like your jumper, can you make me one? *

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* Also applies to baking, sewing and pretty-much any craft there is

Sure! I’ll clear my schedule. No-one else needs birthday presents, right? That lace shawl I’ve been working on can wait a few more months/years. Christmas doesn’t come every year, does it? Let’s face it, even the suffix, “I’ll buy the yarn” makes this one hard to swallow. Why can’t people appreciate the time and effort required to make a large project from scratch.

“Can I commission you to make…” on the other hand.

Handmade products are more expensive

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Yes, they usually are, but think where your money is going. It’s not going into the pockets of Joe Billionaire. It’s supporting artisans who spend many hours crafting something that’s unique and beautiful. You’re not just paying for materials with a handmade gift, you are showing your appreciation of the time and effort involved in making something that you don’t have the skills to make yourself. That deserves a few extra pounds, don’t you think?

I made something like that at school

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Finger painting is not the same as completing a watercolour landscape, pasta necklaces aren’t jewellery-making, French knitting isn’t a cabled sweater and that cross stitch pencil case is not the same as an embroidered linen set. Are you deliberately putting down our work or just trying to wrap your tiny mind around the concept of making something by hand?

Don’t you have enough materials?

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The term materials is used here to describe yarn, paper, fabric, beads, ribbon, felt, paint, chalks, thread, brushes, needles, hooks, or anything that has been squeezed into your spare room with astonishing Tetris skills. The answer is no. Just no.

“Are you pregnant?...”

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Yes. This actually happened to LK dep ed Adrienne when she was knitting in a London pub. There she was, chatting with her dad, enjoying a non-alcoholic beverage, knitting away and ultimately minding her own business, when she was suddenly interrupted by the fellow on a neighbouring table.
“‘Ere, are you pregnant?” he slurred.
She paused, thinking she had misheard.
“Pardon?” she queried.
“Are you pregnant?”
Cue another pause and a bewildered/embarrassed look at her equally confused father.
“No!”

[conversation continues below]

“...You’re not pregnant? Then why are you knitting?”

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…
…..
…....
“Because I enjoy it!”
“Oh, I thought people only knitted when they were pregnant…”
“No. Lots of people knit”
“Oh.”
“Really, they do.”
“Oh, no offence, love.”